She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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