I'm really into asian looking animals
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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