Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
