i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
