it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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