Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
