Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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