Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
