Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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