And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
