A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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