They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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