i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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