so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Someone signed my nipple.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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