he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
