we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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