yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
