It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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