well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
