I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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