My brain says no but my pants say off.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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