her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
