I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
