i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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