Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
