My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
