Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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