What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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