I'm jealous of your bromance
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
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