Tell her she can't have a vagina
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We are two peas in an std pod
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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