I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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