GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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