At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
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operation harelip BJ is a go
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
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I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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