is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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