If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
