Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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