dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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