Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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