Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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