Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize