I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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