Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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