in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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