Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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