Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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