Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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