Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's shark week go big or go home
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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