oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
where are my eyebrows?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
