It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Your penis caused this!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize