I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
