I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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