he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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