Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
