Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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