She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
