its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
