there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
did you just send me my own nude
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
