My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
